


Leave Me or Love Me

by Immortal_Husbands



Series: Volcano (화산) [4]
Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Not K-Pop Idols, Confessions, Fluff, M/M, also sum bnha references, brief mentions of other ateez members, but issokay y'all, i will include more of them in later fics i think, its not angsty i swear, san have worries :(, yes the time has come
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24239584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Immortal_Husbands/pseuds/Immortal_Husbands
Summary: Halloween party featuring San's incoming migraine and unplanned matching outfits with his massive crush.
Relationships: Choi San & Park Seonghwa, Choi San/Park Seonghwa
Series: Volcano (화산) [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1744432
Comments: 10
Kudos: 53





	Leave Me or Love Me

**Author's Note:**

> the work titles are day6's tracks and this series is inspired by it and my take on their songs!

Halloween is here and San wants to actually stay home like he always does ever since he's in the university. Odd enough for someone who loves talking, but he just wants to recharge and spend his time alone when the spooky season is here. He only went once as Draco Malfoy (because somebody whined they don't have a partner to go with) and he preferred to sleep or eat sweets till he's drop dead asleep on the couch with Shiber in his arms.

  
  


Surprisingly, he's going this year so that he can see his big, massive crush on one of his (now) best friends in a costume and that's hard to pass. That man can make a trash bag look beautiful naturally, he's literally a goal that models would want to achieve or have. It is given, really. Even his other friends joined since he will join this year so they're all going since it's once in a blue moon for San to come to the Halloween party, which is always a talk of the university for weeks after.

"You're channelling your inner weeaboo very well, San" Wooyoung commented, dressing up as the red riding hood for this year, saying things like he wants to find the big bad wolf to feed him proper food instead of his grandmother (he red the book last week) with the familiar red hood, white shirt and ripped jeans with black combat boots--a sarcastic smile on his face on the couch.   
  


San sighed, appearing from his bedroom--sporting in a UA gym uniform from My Hero Academia, wearing the striking, signature red shoes, his hands painted with scars, wearing makeup to mimic the hero's freckles across his cheeks to complete the look. 

  
  


"I wish I'm actually Deku so I can punch you" He murmured quietly and Wooyoung snorted teasingly, his head whirled to look down at his phone when a notification sound rings out, his fingers quickly tapping the screen to reply and tucking the gadget in his pocket. "Let's go! Our friends are there already!" The male pushes San to the entrance, his hand almost dropping their keys as they get outside.   
  
  


The music is too loud for his pulsing head. He just realised he's having migraine at this moment, _this is great news,_ he says. He groans inwardly, shutting his eyes as he massages his scalp to tone it down. "Hey guys, sorry we're late! Seonghwa and his long showers" "Sorry everyone" He heard the voice and snapped his head up (Which hurts, he _regretted_ that), his eyes turned wide as saucers at the sigh in front of him.   
  
  


"Midoriya?" Seonghwa pointed at San with wide eyes too, chuckling. His crush is also wearing the UA gym uniform--but with white high boots, he even wears mismatched coloured contact lenses, puts on makeup to replicate the burn mark that Todoroki has on his face, one of his arms painted with ice, blue icicles climbing up and flames, fire imagery wrapping around his other arm. Only missing the red and white hair.

  
  
  


Understandable because he didn't bother to buy a wig because he thinks that the green streaks in his hair is enough already. 

  
  
  
  


"Todoroki--Wait, I didn't know you watched My Hero Academia!" San smiled widely excitedly, walking closer to the older one and chuckling too. He sees the latter open his arms and he gladly hugs the slightly taller male, loving the secure, home-y, warm feeling he gives off and how good he smells before (begrudgingly) pulling away. 

  
  
  
  


"Matching outfits and unplanned? I'm getting soulmates vibes" Hongjoong, another senior from his course who is Seonghwa's best friend, dressing up as Jack Sparrow spoke up. San feels his cheeks started to heat up, and he just laugh out of nervousness, glancing towards the other to see his reaction at the corner of his eyes.

  
  
  


He notices the male pauses, his face froze, for a brief second,--before laughing at his best friend and pushes him teasingly. _What was that?_ San thought to himself, not fully computing what he saw. He looks down at his bright red shoes, shaking his head from the thoughts that's starting to float in his head and tries to reset his mind to enjoy this party without thinking much.

  
  
  


_That was a lie,_ he still overthinks all the time. He couldn't help it, it's yelling at the back of his mind every time he tried to push it down. He watched the students on the floor, dancing and conversing with puffs of smoke from a machine covering the lower ground, loud spooky-trap remix songs booming throughout the place that it feels like an earthquake is here.

He sighed, pinching his nose and the numb pain came back, pulsing harder than ever and he crumpled the paper cup in his hand in irritation. He curses inwardly when the water drips from his hand--he forgot that the cup still has some leftover- _f_ _uck everything at this point._

  
  
  


“Are you okay? It’s unusual to see you watching from the sidelines” He felt a soft material--wet tissues, draped his wet hand and he turned towards the familiar voice, seeing the flickering lights bounce off on his crush’s sharp features with a concerned look on his face.

“O-Oh thank you, but I’m fine I think” He wiped his hand clean and folded it in half to put in his pocket, noting himself to throw it away later as he tilted his head up to fully look at the older one.

  
  
  


“You think? Sannie, we’re not strangers. I know when you’re troubled, what’s wrong?”

_You._

_You’re what’s wrong right now._

_It’s wrong for someone to be this gentle and welcoming, ethereal as if God is telling the world you’re one of the ‘God’s favourite’._

_It’s wrong for him to feel so much for a boy he got close to and valued as his best friend, even as a family member._

_It’s wrong for him to take advantage of his kindness and seek his arms for protection, knowing he always opens them for him because he’s a close friend._

_It’s wrong for him to be delusional and imagining an actual perfection to return his feelings to him._

_It’s wrong for him to love him this way._

  
  
  
  


“Hey, you’re quiet for a while now. Tell me if you’re alright or not, please?” Shaken off from his train of thoughts, he blinks for a few times to regain his consciousness back to reality. “H-Hwa, listen. I-I just--”  
  
  


_I just want you to decide to love me or leave me._

  
  
  
  


He gasps sharply, clamping his mouth shut and starts to shake, horrified. He was paralyzed at the spot, his pulse beating louder in his ears, blocking out all other sounds, realizing how scary his outspoken mind is--and how that would ruin what he has been building with Seonghwa out of trust.

“Sannie? Oh my god--” Seonghwa widened his eyes in utter shock as he saw the boy suddenly covering his mouth, trembling as tears streaming down like a waterfall, his eyes glazed in pure fear. He pulled San close to his body, shielding him from others’ eyes, slithering his way through the crowds as he headed for the exit for fresh air.  
  
  


He searches for a bench nearby, gently urging the still, unmoving San, to sit. He kneels on the ground, wiping the other boy’s red rimmed eyes and tear-streaked cheeks with a clean handkerchief he always carries around. He gently whispers sweet things as he tries to comfort the male, telling him that _it’s alright_ and _it’s okay_ while smiling warmly at San, who is now having hiccups. He waits for him to talk, patiently, the long pause is filled with the younger sniffling, Seonghwa’s heartbeat and the muffled music from the forgotten Halloween party.

  
  
  
  


“P-Please stop kneeling on th-the ground, it’s gonna h-hurt later on” San started, his puffy eyes twinkled in concern and the latter laughs, shaking his head, “How can you be worried at me when you’re like this, you’re unbelievable” He replied, standing up on his feet and moved to sit beside San with his body fully facing him. “I-I was just thinking something d-dumb” San started, his fingers tangling with each other in a mess and slightly trembles.

  
  
  
  


“Your concerns are very important and valid, it's not dumb. I promise you, I wouldn’t be mad if you tell me or not. Even if you do want to tell but you’re afraid--” Seonghwa shifted his arms towards San, grabbing his cold, clasped hands with both of his, surprising the younger as his head snapped up to look at him.

“--I _promise_ you, right now. I _won’t_ leave.” His eyes glint, his voice is serious and firm, conforming that what he’s saying is his final decision and he’s not going to change it, ever.

  
  
  
  


San heaves out a hitching breath, chewing the insides of his cheeks out of anxiousness--but he knows that Seonghwa is waiting, unwavered in front of him. “H-Hwa listen, I-I’m in love with you” San caught the latter flinches and took a sharp entail of breath, eyes slowly widened as his words fully sank in his thoughts.

_Shit, here we go._

"L-Look, I know that--”

  
  
  


The boy yelped when he felt a sudden force pulling him towards the other, strong arms wrapping around him and Seonghwa’s cologne and warmth surrounding him. “I love you too--" Seonghwa lets out a shaky breath before continuing. " _Holy shit--_ Sorry for cursing but I can’t believe you said it first, I was going to--” The older rambled alone, scoffing and laughing in disbelief.

“Wh-What do you mean? H-Huh? _W-Wait--_ ” San’s mind buffered for a moment, his cheeks heating up at this new information and unable to fully respond properly as his body turned stiff. He feels Seonghwa’s figure vibrates when the elder one chuckles, pulling him closer to close any gaps between them, if possible. “I even bought us a pot of cactus so we can take care of it together”  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hmu at @thoseoldhotguys <3333


End file.
